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Pronouns, pronouns, and more pronouns

We’re back everyone! Yay!!!! I’m so sorry for the long break, there was a cross country move, a new job, and lots of travel for work. But! I have time to get back on the blog train and write posts again!

I don’t have a quote from a book this week, but I definitely have a book to talk about! It’s called Honor Bound. It’s the follow up to the book in my last post, Honor Among Thieves. It continues the journey of Zara Cole, the young girl from the hood in New Detroit, as she soars through the universe inside an alien space whale!!! I just have to say again, the concept for these books is so much fun and feels so unique and fresh, they’re just amazing books.

Something else that’s really great about these books that Honor Among Thieves touched on, but Honor Bound really takes a strong stance on, is pronoun usage. It makes sense really. When you’re traveling the universe meeting aliens, there’s a pretty good chance some of them might not be male or female. We have lots of gender nonconforming animals in the ocean here on Earth!

So of course it makes sense that aliens might work differently. That they might be male or female or something else entirely. And when you’re interacting with those aliens, it’s probably not the best idea to try and make them conform to our own standards of what we expect. It’s the same here on earth, within our own species. One struggle for trans acceptance that is constantly being brought up is pronoun usage. Transphobic people like to claim I’m a “him” or an “it”. They feel if they use the wrong words enough they’ll be right.

All they’ll really be is an asshole. It truly does harm when someone uses the wrong pronouns. It sucks because I’m fighting to be myself. I’m taking medicine, I’ve changed my name, my drivers license and passport both say I’m female. So when someone tries to disprove all of that by calling me “him”, it’s disheartening. It makes me feel like even with everything I’ve done, it’s never enough. For someone like that, unfortunately, it never will be enough.

Beyond just he/him & she/hers, there’s lots of other pronouns out there as well! Some people prefer they/them, or xe/xem. The thing about pronouns is that most people will fall into he/him or she/hers and fewer but still a good chunk will fall into they/them. But that doesn’t mean the others are wrong, or they are doing it for attention. If you find someone who prefers a less used pronoun, even if it seems foreign or odd to you to use, it’s still best to use it. It shows your support to that person, which is a major driving factor for us. Sadly a bunch of people detransition or commit suicide because they don’t find acceptance from the people in their lives.

Some people make mistakes. I’ve known my family for my entire life. I’ve had some friends for a very long time. Sometimes they slip up. I think they fall back into old habits. But that’s ok, because the correct themselves and move on like nothing happened. There was never any malicious intent behind their mistake. We are human after all, mistakes will happen. If we grow from them, we become better people.

If you know someone who is trans, go out there and do your best with their pronouns. If you make a mistake, I promise, it’s not going to be the end of the world. We can usually tell when someone is making an effort.

Anyways, this post doubles as an informative post, and a call to action! There’s things every single person can do to help! Whether you’re trans, cis, or something else entirely, pronouns are a way of life. They’re in our daily speech. Something that takes no effort and just helps spread awareness, is to add your preferred pronouns to your email signature. I know, I know, some people might think you’re weird, you might be a little self conscious, but it really does help. As more people use them, it normalizes the behaviors. It helps to show that sometimes our assumptions are correct, and interestingly how sometimes they aren’t.

I know I was scared to put mine in my signature and I’m trans myself! Being referred to in a certain way shouldn’t strike fear in someone. It shouldn’t be something that seems odd. And the more people that do it, the better it becomes.

That’s all I’ve got for today, that’s for stopping by! I promise I’ll start posting again with regularity, I’ll see you next time! – Kayleigh

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